Been quite awhile since my last post.I found some Awesome snacks while shopping.They are Non GMO,Not baked,fried or processed in any way.All Natural fruit and nuts in a mix or rolled up in edible balls.Either way,these are one of the best treats around.You can find these in the Produce section @Wal-Mart.

New Year,New life

I finally got notification from SSI about my ongoing appeal.Which means I will have answer to my request for disability. I have been fighting for disability benefits for over 5 years.I am so ready to get out of this dump.No bathroom,hell,No running water!No kitchen either.The. guy is a hoarder and mentally ill.He has attacked me 4 or more times.3 weeks ago he attacked me again.I called 911.With obvious signs of an attack,blood and huge bruises,they did nothing!They did call code enforcement.Which made him FINALLY clean the massive amounts of trash,his hoarding crap and everything else.He made the mess,he has to clean it himself.After all his bs,ranting and abuse,he actually believed that I am going to stay here after I am granted disability. I get back pay and after the Lawyer &  the county are paid I should still have enough to rent my own place and pay the rent for a few months in advance. He will not have my address and my phone # will be changed.Karma always balances the universe. After he beat me up,the van he drives,broke down again!No van,No money!Boo-Hoo!It affects me too.Just not as badly as it does him.It eats him up.His own fault.After his truck was totaled he took the insurance money and ran out and bought a used Van,right off the lot.Never taking it to a mechanical expert.He didn't have it for 2 mos before it started falling apart.He has had to replace or have rebuilt 90% of the Van.Now,the rear end went out.Have you ever met someone that destroys everything just touch it?I have been living with a racist,bigot,violent,hoarding,dirty,lazy 2year old in a 'mans'body.If he physically and emotionally battered his cancer suffering mother,he is capable of anything.

Web Psychology test results

http://www.webpsychology.com/welcome

Learning

When I was young,5 and 6 years old,I would see things others couldn't.When I would say something,I was told I was crazy.So,I kept things to myself.The Shadow Man who made night time terrifying.
I actually began to believe I was crazy.I blocked everything,it was the only way I could function.As I have gotten older,and sober,I have let go of the fear.My spirit guide has revealed himself.Taking me beyond the veil.Visits with loved ones who have crossed over.I am working on my gifts.Retrieving my abilities.It has begun to get easier.

HYPOTHYROIDISM LIFE

It amazes me to realize that I know more about my illness than doctors do.I have always had depression,insomnia,Anxiety and pain.But,Hypo has made these problems even worse.10x worse.My PTSD is also off the charts.Doctors have either refused to give me MEDICATION or they use me as a test dummy.Meds for my nightmares?I was given high blood pressure meds.When I complained of migraines my dose to Zoloft was increased. My primary care dr.gives me a few anti anxiety pills every 45 days.I hold on to them,Until I am very anxious. I hope that it won't be another begging session this week when I go for my check up this week.

Been Awhile

It has been quite some time since my last post.
Many things have happened. I had a Health crisis that is just now become managable.Hypothyroid was diagnosed in 2015.Gracie had major allergies and had to be put on medication.She akes,Apoquel everyday.That is 60.00+dollars a month.But,It is nothing compared to having her comfortable She would cry and scratch and chew on herself till she bled.In Nov. She will be 12.So far she is doing  great.Taking your dog to the vet on a regular basis will help them to live a long happy life.She has been with me through it all.April of 2016 I had a complete break down.In my next post I will tell you about that.I am battling depression and anxiety  and have yet to find a new psych.My last one had her license pulled.SO,Until next time,be safe.

My Gymanist,hurt again

Gracie tore her front leg,all the was to the muscle.Took her to animal emergency,2000 + the 200+ I had already gave the.It was the weekend.I got pain killers and anti botics(67.00).Took her to SPCA for a wound checkrecieved antibotics(more pills.less money)Today is wound check.Hopefully she has of the enough of the wrap and com home.SPCA has reasonable costs.Pray everything goes great for her.

HATE NEVER OVERCOME,ONLY LOVE OVERCOMES

My little brother was strangled in an L.A.MOTEL,no drugs or alchohol in his body,but the worthless cops said it was an OD.I guess he strangle himself.L.A. Is the armpit of the world.Cops refuse to do their jobs.How do you OD with strangle marks on youy neck?HE WAS MURDERED.Rampart,probabbly killed.WE have NO idea where he is,some paupers grave.My mom is TOTALLY DEVESTARTED.MY HEART GOES OUT TO ALL THE VIVITIMS

Death

Why is it when ever you talk about dying,and coming back,your freinds and family think you have had a complete mental break .you have just had a simple NIGHTMARE.I KNOW WHAT I SAW!And if I cam actually FEEL an autopsy being performed on ME.THEN how can I be crazy?

A Rip in Time

I was asked to write down my latest break,or what they call my episode.I do not remember what the exact day was,that is still confusing.I would close my eyes and .every time I opened them I was in a different place.I died,no one could see or hear me.I felt this strange feeling in my chest,like someone was in my chest,doing an autopsy on me.I could feel it,but not see it.Then closing my eyes again I would wake up in different place.It was very confusing I woke up one time,as an observer,in a white room.This was a white room,a man I had never seen before he said that Creator could do ANYTHING.Make you disappear from your family..They look for any way to confuse you.Three doors in this room.In one I observed.I was watching things go on around me,terrified I would be stuck in Limbo,not hell but not heaven either.I question all I believed in.TO BE CONT.

True Family does not mean blood.

Liars and thieves make my skin crawl.                                                              I am not going to get on a soap box and pretend I have lived a sinless life.I sold my body,did drugs of any kind,was kidnapped,raped,tortured and held against my will for hours being told the whole time,there was no escape,scream no one would hear you.All around me were huge cutting saws,that I was told over and over would chop me up so well,NO ONE would EVER find me.I was so terrified I never even told my husband at the time,all he cared about is did I have enough money to get us well.I had never met a MAN.Someone who was my partner,that worked with me,that I could trust.Creator took him 5 years after we met.I plunged into one of the deepest,darkest holes that depression had never taken me to.I could not function,I would suddenly start crying,so I started wearing sunglasses to hide the darkness in my soul.I was searching for peace,and asked for faith.At first I was angry because I WAS NOT GETTING WHAT I WANTED.After getting it through my thick head,I started over.In my prayers I would ask for what I needed,but,I had FAITH that my prayers would be answered according to HIS WILL.Creator sees and knows ALL.We might ask for something and not recieve it.Not because he doesn't want us to be happy,but,because he can see something so much better down the road.That IS FAITH.Once I gave my life over to his will,things started to come together.Family does not mean blood.Family means,being honest,good or bad.When you lie to me you are saying I'm stupid.Why?Because I don't knock your teeth out?I say nothing because you will dig your own grave.Lies,change over time,the truth never does.What hurts most,is when someone you have loved all your life is in reality a snake,who wishes harm to others who have treated them like family.My heart has been broken many,many times,but this heart break has brought me to my knees.All the pieces fit.All those years,you could not face me because you knew I would find the truth.I HAD TO FIND THE TRUTH for myself and the ones you destroyed and continue to destroy because your secrets and lies have been exposed.You destroyed one of the most important people in my life,through your lies to everyone.I never bought your lies,because you see,I saw,I watched,I listened.You aren't as slick as you think you are.You are a disapointment,evil,spiteful,angry and a sad excuse for a human being.You took something from several people that can never be replaced.How proud you must feel.But,remember this,YOU WILL answer to CREATOR and to all the others you hurt.All those years of hiding,evil can only hide when it's dark,the sun is out and you cannot hide any longer.

New Dog Food

I always read labels,especially on food I buy for Gracie.She depends on me to buy the best and most nutrious food available.I found a new food called Purina Pet Plan.Gracie has a very sensative stomach.So that is the reason I'm trying this food Salmon comes first it .No corn,wheat ,no grain .