New Dog Food

I always read labels,especially on food I buy for Gracie.She depends on me to buy the best and most nutrious food available.I found a new food called Purina Pet Plan.Gracie has a very sensative stomach.So that is the reason I'm trying this food Salmon comes first it .No corn,wheat ,no grain .

Night Terrors ll

Although many may believe that the night terror I had as a child were probably nightmares,you are welcome to your opinion.One of the many times I ran to sleep with my brother,David,he was a year younger than I am maybe being so close in age,he never asked me about my sleeping in his bed.One night I slept on the outside of the bed,no sheet covering me,when all of a sudden,something was breathing,hot loud breathe on my leg,it was a hot breathe,not something human.To this day,I must sleep all covered up.I literally thought I would have a heart attack that night.There was not going to be any help from family.No one believed me.I should have told my Grandma,but was afraid of ridicule,And if she had shrugged it off it would have destroyed me.I know now that she knew what was happening tome,but could do nothing because it was something I had to fight on my one.It would give me strength,and it did.After I left Janices house,the terror stopped.I had dreams of lost love ones,but I think those night terrors were not there to  hurt me but to prepare me for the sorrow and heartache that eventually did/Almost 30 years later I went to Texas to see the 4 kids of mine that she had raised to be her mirror image.Money hungry,back stabbers,two faced.I have no time from petty games and jealousy.

Lessons learned

I have tried to live my life according to the mantra"what goes around,comes around'Most of the time it does end up that way.i would not change any part of it.Gracie and I do well,we are not rich by any means.But,we have what we need.I learned that just because someone offers to help,does not mean that is what they plan to do.To say my heart was broken,wouldbe an understatement.It's over,I learned a valuable lesson.Thank You Creator for showing me yet again,you always have my back.

Night Terrors Part1

Does anyone know what night terrors are?Sometimes they can be bad dreams,and when I say bad,I mean Freddy Krueger bad.I do not remember when the terror startted,I have flashes of days and nights of being terrified.Let's get into my childhood for a moment.I am one of 5,the only girl and second oldest.I have never had a normal relationship with my mother.She was not the type of mother who you felt safe with or loved by.In our house everything was about her.Now,my dad,I have wonderful memories of him.He loved his kids,all of us,not just one.Our house was the house everyone in the neighborhood wanted to hang out at.We had a pool,and my 2 of my younger brothers were up for anything.I had my own room,my brothers shared a room.I cannot count the times I would wake up totally freaked out.This phase started around 5.Why would a 5 year old be afraid something evil was going to get her?I'm 5 years old for pete's sake.This is the 60's.One night I was awakened by my dog,who slept at the entrance to the hall where the bedrooms were,this dog was growling.Something was trying to get into the hallway.I laid back down,I needed to think,how could I get out my door and to my parents room without this evil getting me,I sat up looked at my door,it closed and then on it's own,opened up again.I could see something black,hooded,putting a finger up to their lips,telling me to be quiet.That was it!Now,I feel as though I am going to have a heart attack.I had one chance to get out of my bedroom,i pretended that I had not seen the figure behind the door,and I called out my dogs name as I was walking across the floor,as soon as I hit the hallway,I RAN to my parents room.Waking my dad and telling him someone was in the house.After checking every door and window and finding no intruder,he told my mom I was a nut and she'd better do something about it. Time for a break.......to be contiued.

WEEKENDS OFF

I use to take Sundays off from the web.But,now that I work almost 5 days a week,I get tired easier.So,now I might spend 30 min, or so.Tracked and try to make it to the dog park.This week With the rain kept us inside.So,we slept all weekend.

Never a Mother,Can I be a grandmother?

I have one Granddaughter,her name is Violette I was not sure I would be able to be "gramma".But,after watching her last Wensday,I KNEW, without a doubt I can be an awesome gramma.I cannot wait see her again.

Evil Comes in all Shapes.

I have lived on the streets off and on since I was 13.I had no role model,the person who gave birth to me was known as the town tramp.My fathers family were hard workers,had a great reputation in the small city I grew up in.My father would do whatever his mother and father asked him to do.Which,I am sure was not easy.My father served in Korea.He had met a woman he fell in love with,he chased her all the was back east.And still refused him,Heartbroken,my father came home,Being that we did live in such a small town,everyone knew everyone elses bussiness.My grandmother was able to see the future,through dreams and other ways.Neither she nor my grandfather agreed with the Vietnam war.My father was not married.And her was the town tramp,pregnant,no prospects.So,they sat my dad down and explained to him that he was going to marry this woman,My grandmother had already lost one son 10 days after birth,she was not going to lose another one.My father agreed to this arrangement to please his mother.I'm sure,the pregnant woman felt she had hit the lottery.My grandfather sent my dad to a friend and got a great job,my dad helped build our home.I never wanted for anything.My dad worked his butt off to support his kids.Until his wife decided she wanted to go back to schoolHe paid for that too.I don't know how many men she slept with.She was becoming the City College Tramp.She walked out on my brothers and I,not once,not twice but 3 timesMy dad was always there to pick up the pieces.I had 6 children,The first four were raised by a woman who could not raise her own children.But,she did teach them how to be snakes,how to lie,how to talk about people behind thier backs.They spend quite a bit of time backstabbing each other.The oldest,a girl,claims to habe no interest in money,but all she talks about is who she sent money too,what friends she paid motel rooms for,how much money she has given to so and so.I was have a problem coming up with money for an overdue bill.I asked for prayers.Out of the blue this girl calls me saying she hates to see me struggling.I said that everyone was struggling.SHE INSISTED on Western Union to send the money.It would be in a text in the morning when I got up,she is 3 hours ahead.She also said she would call me at 11am,my time.I waited until 2 or 3pm and called her,of course she won't answer my calls.All I wanted to know is WHY???What kind of sick,preverted game was she playing?I blocked her,her brother and 2 other sisters from EVERY social site I belong to.I would think,since she claims to love her son so much that she would have more intellegent to do than play with peoples feelings.WoW!What a horrible role model.

Lessons Learned

This is one of the great loves of my life,She is loyal,watches my back and comforts me when others want to destroy me.To most of you,a dog is just an animal.How very wrong you are.They feel,they love,they worry,they cry.Gracie brought me out of one of the DEEPEST BLACKEST depressions I have ever faced.I saw no light at the end of the tunnel,all I saw was more darkness.In the last 7 years I have had my battles.But,NEVER to the point of total loss of light.Gracie was sent to me through the local SPCA shelter.When I sick,or crying or another family member stabbing me in the back,Gracie has been there to comfort me and remind me that only love matters and she loves me,so I MATTER.