Gracie's Health

Gracie and I make the usual walk to Roeding Park dog Park.We have'nt gone as much as I would like,due to my illness and the heat during the summer.Tommorrow we have to get all the trash and unused items out of the bedroom so that it can be picked up by the city on Tuesday.It is alot easier to do it this was rather than try and put it in the garbage cans.Gracie has scraped her right hip.again.On what I have no idea.She did it before a month or more ago.It healed quite quickly.But,this time it is quite swollen and she refuses to let me get too close to inspect it.She is not favoring the leg,but that does not mean it does not hurt her.I have also found out that the dog food,i have fed her or the years is not appitizing for her.So,I'm trading her back to Blue Wilderness dry and a few canned items from the same brand.She loves this food and I am not going to feed her sometging she does'nt want to eat.What's the point?Gracie is abpout due for her shot for Rabies and her license again.Every three years we have to do this.She is healthy,her teeth look great,no smell or yellowing and or tarter.I love my girl and in order to have her around for as long as possible.I have to be her health advocate.

Gracie is having fun at the local dog park.I have been quite sick the last year or so.Our twice weekly walks to the Roeding Park dog park have been few and far between.I am hoping that what what ever virus I have been fighting will lessen in the coming months so that I am able to walk the short distance to the park.Just because I am sick does NOT mean Gracie has to suffer too.I am able to take her for 30min. walks twice a day.I just want her to be able to be a dog,able to run,stalk the squirrels,and cats.She deserves so much more than I have been able to give her.Things will get better,I am taking her to the dog park THIS SATURDAY come hell or high water.I have 6 children,4 girls and 2 boys.I was talking to the youngest from my marriage,Melissa,for quite a while.But,her down right gross status updates,personally made me ill.She got made because I stated a fact about the woman who btw,was SUPPOSE to be my MOTHER,Never cooked breakfast for my 3 brothers,NEVER.We had to fend for ourselfs.I have no idea what fantasy world Melissa is living in,but she tried to tell me Janice,the "mother"(and I use the tern LOOSELY,had cooked breakfast,lunch and dinner.The ONLY reason Janice was able to get custody of my 4 children is,she fooled them ALL.But,its not hard to fool child services that you are such a wonderful,caring Grandmother.She laid it on thick.Lying about me all the way.I am in the cause of everyones bad decisions.I figured that she was the vodka drinker.Always with a new drug boy toy.She not only walked out on my brothers,SHE felt trapped.I was 15 getting money of well,she did not care.I APOLOGIZED to her for her having to put up w.I love WALT do not come unless he was ready talk

 

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Me at the height of my depression

Me!I've never taken good photos.I have a paralyzed muscle in my right eye,so my eye lid is lazy.: Me!I've never taken good photos.I have a paralyzed muscle in my right eye,so my eye lid is lazy. Which makes taken photo's nerve racking and hated.

Being a Mother and being a Grandmother

I had my first child at 16 years old.I was'nt sure who her father was,I have a suspicion of who it is,but no proof since the man has been dead do to drug and alchol abuse for at least 5+years.And yes,it is one of the many things my eldest holds against me.My next child,3 years later was a girl from my future husband.His reaction was to break everything he could,including the TV,denying it was his.For the next 9 mos I lived a life of a battered woman.He was out screwing anything and anyone he could.Did I mention he was 12 years older than I?He was on parole so he had to test,he would drag himself home to dry out,which I would wait on him hand and foot so that he would give a clean test to the parole dept.Why did he stay with me?Easy money,he had me trained to do what ever he wanted.He was working,made good money,but NOT ONCE did he contribute to raising our kids.I used my welfare money to keep a roof over my head and my babies clothed and fed.I could not depend on him.When I was 13,two weeks before my 14th birthday,I ran away from home.That same night I was being sold to Mex nationals in the labor camps.I never saw any of that money.I thought I loved this man,and in that thought process,he took advantage and beat me,total control was his thing.My 3rd pregnancy was met with the total oppisite reaction of my second.He was elated.More welfare money!When my first son was born I could not accept the nurses insistance that yes,it was a boy.Someone to carry on his fathers name.Where was he?At a bar,screwing another woman.He did bring dead flowers to the hospital 3 days later.I kept giving chances.Believing that someday,if I was patient enough he would love me as much as I loved him.I had lost hope,so when he decided to become the faithful husband and father,it was too late.I refused to marry him.I got an ultimatum of if I did not agree to marry him,then there was no reason to stay together.My first reaction was ,"fine,leave".But,I had 2 kids and was expecting another.So,I agreed.My father,who means everything to me,boycotted the wedding.After our marriage and the birth of our son,I honestly thought we would make it with living a Christian life.It did not last.# mos after my son was born,drugs became a important part of my life.I started working the streets.He would stay home to watch the kids.I became the sole support.I got pregnant again,I knew this was not his child,but he insisted I put his name one the birth certificate.I lost my 4 oldest children because he could not stay out of jail/prison long enough to ensure Childrens services did not place them away from each other.My children were extremely close.I finally went to prison,on and off for 10 years.I had 2 more children in custody.A daughter at CIW and a son at the jail ward of my local hospital.Having my children taken away from me made something snap inside me.I don't have relationships with two of my oldest children.My 3rd and 4th child from that marriage have forgiven me for all the mistakes I have made.My last two Children are the closest I am to any of my children.And even though I have quite a few grandchildren,my youngest daughters little girl has opened my ability to want to become close to someone again.My health is failing,but I am going to make sure that this one beautiful child remembers me after I am gone.My daughter has made a complete 180 since having this miracle.She has made me so very proud to be her mother.Nothing can break the bond of mother and child.

Another day...

Friday has rolled around again.Gracie and I are laying down watching T.V. enjoying the peace and quiet.Tomorrow I want to take Gracie to the Dog Park at Roeding Park .Hopefully there will be some dogs there for her to run and play with.

My life so far

I have finally been able to see and enjoy one of my many grandchildren.My youngest Daughter had her daughter a year ago July.This past weekend,last weekend of July,I was invited to share this milestone.My granddaughter is one of the happiest babies I have ever seen.My daughter,who has had hours with drug abuse,has completely turned her life around.She is a single parent and she does a remarkable job.To say I am proud of her is a huge understatement.She is getting ready for the next semester in Jr.college.Best part is,I get to babysit sometimes.I have major health problems,and before I pass,I want my granddaughter to know me.Like I knew and loved my grandma.There is something so very special about seeing your children grow up and have children of their own.It just blows my mind that this child has some of me in her.

Gracie

Allergies on /with your dogEE

Gracie is my almost 7years old now.SHE rescued me after my soulmate dies from liver failure,honestly,I was trying to follow him.I had no plans on getting a dog or a cat.But,a good friend and I just happened to be going by the SPCA.Something told me to STOP!!!!!.So,because he is my friend and knew how much pain I was in,he did stopped.I slowly walked down the aisles of cages,so many dogs,ALL deserving of a home &FAMILY.But,I was'nt even sure I would find that special "click".I must have gone done those aisles 5 0r 6 times,no pull.So,went to the puppy section.Never start there,always start at 1,2 or 3 yr.old dogs.They no what being alone means,what hunger and abuse is all about,they deserve a loving,endless supply of toys and play,I ended up fining a baby poodle mix in the puppy section.It was busy that day.I held the puppy for a good 10 minutes,no bond.But something caught my eye.This tiny puppy,sitting,taking all the action in,No barking,just quietly sitting.Something inside clicked.This WAS the ONE!!!! She was beautiful,4lbs.The runtI noticed she had allergies,running noise,swollen eyes.But, for the last 2 years it has affected her tail,her area around her tail.I j
have tried everything,Benadryl,flax oil,you name it,I have trried just about everything.To say I love my dog is a MAjOR  UNDERSTATEMENT .If you read this and have any ideas that nighthelp me and Gracie,I will be eternally grateful.

Finally got allele my money from SSI

For the burial expenses.I just want Mike here  alive NEVER DID. I Want him ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another friend moves on

When a person has been a part of your life for 30+yrs.,it is difficult to remember that they are not a phone call away.I know I will meet him again.It hurts to know I cannot just go over and see him.It has not fully set in yet.Tears just cannot express my feelings.

Why is it people want AND wait yo try and destroy yourdental health?I man's chosen to live my life without beingonu knees.

I fight depression on a minute minute every day ofu love I to not need people whining and crying.over things O.CANNOT CHANGE
GROW UP STOP LIVING IN THE PAST
YOU CANNOT ROOMU.LOVE BY YOUR INABILITY TO TYPE.UP