WHAT IS GOTH ANYWAY?

i GUESS PEOPLE WOULD SAY THAT IF YOU DRESS IN DARK COLORS AND WEAR DIFFERENT MAKEUP,YOU MIGHT BE "GOTH".Why do we always have to label people?I hung out with kids from my nieghborhood when I went to JR high and high school,I felt comfortable around them,we all dressed in big bell levis with t shirt or a blouse,and they called us stoners because of the way we dressed.I did'nt get high,weed did nothing for me,I did smoke cigerettes,but all my friends did.So,because I wore a certian style of dress,I was labeled.

My Girls

My girls are Gracie and Sonic.Of course they are dogs,literally.I'm not calling them that because of any imperfection they might have.I feel so wanted and happy when I come home from being somewhere and these two meet me at the door.Tails wagging,jumping up to get to me.Gracie like to jump up and smell/kiss my lips,Sonic likes me to rub behind her ears.I feel so lucky to have someone who loves me and needs me.I love my girls and because of that I have made sure that they are fed healthy,sometimes I will cook their food,after that mess with the canned food from China,I am very careful to watch what my girls eat and from where.I know my girls get the best,they are healthy,you can see it in their coat and eyes.Gracie is a German Short-Hair Pointer and she is so soft,her fur is soft and think,she hardly sheds anymore.And she is lean and well muscled,she can jump straight up at least 5 ft.And she loves to do that.Sonic is a mini-mixed dog,she has got a slight temper,but she too is soft and her fur thick.I have a website that is for mixed breed dogs,I have learned as much as I can in order to not only take care of my own dogs,but to give advice to others about their dogs.I just feel blessed to have Gracie and Sonic.

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Deal with it !

I've never been much of a whiner,what would be the point?It's not like anyone would help me or even believe me.Afew years ago I was hit by a car while walking in the crosswalk with the white walking signal blazing.The persons who hit me were two teen boys who were more interested in talking on the cell and showing off the speed of the car,lucky me!I was very blessed that the Creator gave me a good set of ears,because,if I had not heard him gun the engine as he turned the corner,I would surly have been broadsided and dead.Instead,I ended up on the hood of the car,and the after a flight of about 40ft,landing on my right hip in the middle of a busy street,I was so shocked that for a few minutes I could not move my body,luckily a few people had seen what happened and had come to my aid,getting me off and out of the street before another car decided to take a try.What I'm trying to get to,the point,is that at times the pain in my back and neck make it almost impossible to move and /or function.Which is today,it is hard for me to sit in front of the computer,typing without being in so much pain,that I eventually just give up and go to bed.And that is what I am going to do tonite,tomorrow is another day,and another chance to post!

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Busy,Busy,Busy

Last week was not one of my better weeks,had a major blackout,ended up at the doctor's getting a bloodtest,and getting yelled at by Mr.R,for his assumption that I had gone out and gotten "high".Which of course was not the case,I've been clean and sober for over 3yrs,soon to be 4yrs.The prognosis is a possible "mini" stroke.The blood test revealed that my cholesterol was off the charts,which really kind of blew me away,because I don't eat fast food,junk food or alot of red meat.I do however eat yogurt everyday,several times a day.I also found out that my liver is doing fine,panel came back ok and the enzymes are ok too.That does not answer the question of why I've gained so much weight,and why my cholesterol level is off the charts.I don't do salt,and I regularly check the labels on all the food I buy to make sure that I know what I'm eating.Because of last week,I had to make some major changes in my life,I need to get out of this house and on my own again.So,I'm going back to college,I've applied and also applied for the grants I'm going to need while I do go to school.I plan on taking the Vet Tech Asistant  classes,so that is what I will major in.It will pay good,and I know an awful lot about animals,and I want to know more.The grants will also give me the money I need to buy an mini-van to move out of here.I figure that since it's just me and Gracie,maybe but more than probably Sonic too,I can just live in the mini van while I'm going to school.It will be easy to get around and with two dogs that bark like they are going to rip your head off,and who knows?They just might do that if anyone tries to mess with me.I've lived on the streets most of my life,so I know the dangers,but I also know what I have to do to stay alive.I just really want out of this house,I'm so tired of being here,and it's my own fault,it's time to move on.I've always had to do things on my own,and it's no different now,I just need to get it started so I can get myself and my dogs out of here.My liver is kind of hurting right now,so I'm going to go lay down in order to change my position.

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I thought Hep C would kill me,where I'm living is going to kill me first

This blog is all about the life of a recovering dope fiend with HEP C.I was first diagnosed in 1999,and went into a deep dark depression.I had been told that day that my life was OVER.How does someone deal with that?Accidents kill you , murder takes your life,although in this case murder is basically what I'm feeling like.You know it's coming,but you try to make it come in slo-mo.Since my liver does'nt filter like it should,I tend to get confused and also hallucinta,like it's the thing to do.I know not everyone has a conversation going on with themselve and whoever else happens to be walking around your brain.Everyone things I'm on drugs,if only.That could explain it all,the talking non-sensically,falling out at the computer,head tilted-back mouth wide open,and the guy who owns the house wakes me up screaming"I'm not taking this shit,you are not going to do drugs in my house"mind you I am in a state of "what the hell"?I told him I had'nt taken any drugs,and that my doctor could verify it.To which he replied,"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! Eveyone should be as lucky as I ,to have such a spineless,weed smoking ameoba in thier life.I sure feel lucky.NOT.i ASK NOTHING FROM THIS "MAN",I support myself thru survrys on the internet,and claening a friends house,which to be quite honest,we talk more than I clean.I also pay my own clinic bill (200.00) a month.I know that God is testing me.Last month,my former friend ans his former girlfriend came over here bullied her way in,headed straight for my daughters room,the spineless one,had to pull the lunatic off my daughter,all the while looney-tooneys is punching him in the face,as he is finally getting the fat bitch down the hall to the front door,she grabs my lock-box and my wallet,the box I got back,the wallet,the bitch actually claims she did'nt take it!The spineless wanna be "man" would NOT let me call the cops,or CPS.And now ,I am the bad guy.He told me he would replace all that she took from me,B.S,B.S. AND MORE BULLS---.I have got to get out of here,these people are too sick to even acknowledge they are sick.She's a doctor-shopping pill head and the spaz is just that a spineless spaz.

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